I always thought happily ever after never existed. Growing up was hell. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t physically assaulted. I attended the best schools money could get; was always dressed properly, but my parents never forgot to remind me that I was a mistake. I wasn’t planned. I just came into their world to disrupt their “me” time. I had so many nannies that after the sixth one, I didn’t bother to know their names again. They were always ‘ma’ or ‘sir’ to me. I was always the girl who never had attention so when Jide asked me to marry him straight out of university, I agreed. He showered me with the love and attention that I didn’t get while growing up.
I should give you a brief history of how I met Jide but that’s not why we are here.
I felt I was home, but home became my hell instead of my paradise. Jide didn’t just hurt me physically, he hurt me emotionally. I was a shadow of myself. Close friends who knew what was happening said he had put me under a spell. I mean, why wouldn’t they? I tried so hard to please him; I always felt he would change. If there was a price for the best wife in the world, I wouldn’t have any opponents. I, a woman with a career that brought in six figures, was reduced to a slave in her own home. I was sent to buy gifts for his mistress. I stayed, because I thought about what people would say. I stayed, because I didn’t want to be reminded by the same parents who were the reason I was in this mess, of what a failure I was. I felt I was finally getting the love I deserved. I was foolish. He never failed to remind me why he looked for companionship elsewhere.
“You are fat Ise”.
“You are stale in bed”
“Having sex with you is like fucking a log of wood. You are not adventurous”.
Looking back, I realized all these were coming from the man with a needle dick. A man with a dick the size of a baby carrot. Oh, I can see you rolling your eyes wondering why I never worked on my weight. Trust me, I did. Despite the fact I spent almost all my life taking drugs due to my PCOS, I was still a beast in the gym but maybe, just maybe, I was never meant to be slim. Long story short, Jide left me. The day I got served, he had the audacity to call me.
“Ise, I know you have gotten the divorce papers. No hard feelings but it’s time we ended this thing we call a marriage. You just don’t do it for me anymore”
I spent the next fifteen minutes processing what the man I called my husband for seven years said.
Divorce… Feelings… End marriage.
“Hey, are you still there”? Jide said.
His voice brought me out of my thoughts and I started laughing. I laughed so hard that I started feeling pains in my belly.
“Jide, I am here. Thank you, thank you so much for giving me an easy way out. Thank you for freeing me from this prison I called my marriage. Thank you for the hell you made me pass through you son of a bitch”.
“Hey, how dare y…”
I hung up. I was shocked. How did I, a timid Ise, have the guts to tell Jide-the-warrior all that? I guess when you are pushed to the limit, you damn all consequences.
My day in court came and went. I was a free woman. I once again became a MISS. My colleagues forced me to go out; friends worried I was going to become an old woman with a house full of cats, but I really didn’t care. I was in a good place and work was going very well. If I needed a man, My vibrator, aptly nicknamed BOB, was always ready to serve. I must confess, sometimes I missed a good ole orgasm that came from a dick with pulsating veins. Not as if I had gotten any in six and half years. Yes, you guessed right, Jide was a failure in bed. I hope you didn’t think it was my fault.
But everything changed when I met Akin.
Akin was sex on sticks. I met him while showing him a house in one of the highbrow parts of Lagos. I just wanted to jump him. I am not a slut, don’t get judgmental, but damn, he was hot. I tried to play it cool but I struck gold when I saw him checking out my ass when I bent to show him the kitchen cabinets. My body that had been asleep for a long time came awake.
“Thank you so much for taking out time to show me around,” Akin said extending his hands out in handshake.
“It’s nothing; I was just doing my job”. I replied accepting his hands.
I swear I could feel a zing of electricity go through me when I had his hand in mine.
“If it won’t be too forward of me, I would love to see you again”
“It’s no problem at all; we will be seeing a lot of each other. I mean you haven’t decided on a house yet so it’s my job to show you more until you get your dream house”.
“Nah, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean work related, I want to see you outside work. Like a date, and before I forget, I want this house”
“Oh, you do, that’s good news.” I could already imagine the hefty commission I would get.
“Okay, concerning the date, let’s see…” I pretended to go through a fake mental calendar. “How about Wednesday evening, 7:00pm? I know a really good restaurant”.
“It’s a deal. I will pick you up by…”
“…Don’t bother, I can find my way there. I will just send you the address”. I was tired of having people dictate how I should do my things.
“I don’t even have your number, just your work email”.
“Just give me yours and you will get mine when I send you a text message” I replied with a wink.
Was I really flirting with a client? Wasn’t it against work ethics? Right now, I didn’t care.
“Have a nice day Mr. Akin.” I said to him walking away. I made sure to put an extra sway in my steps. This was the best I had felt in ages.
The week flew by and I felt different. Obiageli my colleague at work testified to it. She said I had the glow of someone who had been thoroughly fucked and left satisfied. If only she knew it was just in my dreams but then, I didn’t deny or accept her claims. Maybe because I knew sooner than later, the actual fucking would take place.
Wednesday came and I almost forgot about my date. (That’s what happens when you anticipate too much; you forget about the thing when the time comes). I was about leaving work when my phone rang. It was an unknown number.
“Hello, Ise speaking. Please who am I talking to?” I asked while trying to prevent a yawn from escaping. It had been a really busy day.
“Hi sleepy head how are you?”
“Oh Shit… pardon my language. Hello Akin, good afternoon. I didn’t know it was you calling. I don’t have this number.”
“Hahaha, its very fine. Sorry I called with a different number. Forgot you didn’t have this. I just wanted to remind you of our date later today.”
Hey God, that voice. Hearing it alone made me wet.
“Of course, I remember. ‘Will be there by 7.” I pretended that I didn’t forget.
“Okay Ise, see you later”. He replied and hung up.
That evening was the best evening of my life. Dinner with Akin was beautiful. He made me laugh, he made me smile, and he made me feel really good. I didn’t want it to end but then, everything good has to come to an end. After dinner, I was ready to ditch my three date rule (that rule where you only allow a man get the box after three dates. Did it my ex husband, but see where it got me).
He escorted me to my car, drove behind me till I got home and escorted me to the door. I decided to invite him in for more drinks. I felt that was a code for “I want to have sex with you but don’t want to be forward about it.” And he would understand.
Just as I unlocked the front door and wanted to open it, he turned me and leaned in, my back against the door, his body inches from mine.
“Not today”. He declined.
“Why, it’s just drinks. Did I do anything wrong?” I replied while putting on my best pity face.
“You are a beautiful woman, Isenomen.”
“How did you know my full name?” I whispered, staring into his dark, dark eyes.
“I looked you up on the internet.” He replied.
I liked that he was really interested enough to look me up on the internet. He leaned in closer and dragged his nose down my cheek, breathing me in.
“It’s a nice name and really unusual, just like you.”
“Is that a compliment?”
He grins. “Yes, ma’am.”
My hands traveled up his sides, over his shirt, gathering the cotton tightly as his left hand glided down my side to my ass.
“I like your height too, you know,” he murmurs. “When you are in heels like this, I don’t have to practically bend in half to reach you.”
“Happy to oblige,” I whispered.
I was still gripping onto him, waiting to see where he would take this. I really wanted him to fuck me right there. I didn’t care if we were in public. I think I must have a hidden exhibitionist attribute that was trying to come out to play.
But instead, he let his lips drag up my neck and let them hover over mine, barely touching me. I pulled him in and kissed him, nibbling, exploring, enjoying, tasting the wine from the dinner we had just had.
He sure can kiss.
He pulled back just a bit and turned the kiss from hot to sweet. I purred. And then I let go of his shirt, dragged my hands down his sides and with a cocky smile, grabbed his ass and let my nails dig in while nibbling and tugging on his lower lip with my teeth.
Without moving away, he leaves his lips on mine and says
“Tuesday… Let’s have another date on Tuesday. Goodnight Ise, sleep tight and dream of me, maybe?”
Then he pulls back and stands on the sidewalk as I open the door and walked into my house. He doesn’t get into his car until I lock up. I watch him drive away from my window.
Lord knows I am going to wear out BOB tonight. And of course, I will be dreaming of Akin.




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