NB: This post was deliberately written to exclude NACKING of any sort. Nobody should ask me to write another part o. This is THE END… Shikena!

The crowd gathered outside the police station was growing and the police officers were finding it hard to control them. Inside the station was even worse. Pepper was behind the counter and had been threatened by the officers that if he made a sound, he would spend three nights behind bars. He wasn’t happy with that but he maintained stoic silence while shooting daggers at Chinelo and her parents. Mama Aborbor looked far different from her usual calm and meek self. The quiet, pretty woman actually looked quite rabid and was restrained by two female police officers as she snarled and hissed occasionally at Chinelo.

Chinelo looked a right mess. Her lips were bleeding, her eyes were swollen and her dress looked like it had accidentally been thrown into a paper shredder and hurriedly salvaged. Her parents were with her, threatening fire and brimstone while her sisters’ voices could be heard amongst the crowd outside the station. They were hurling invectives at Mama Aborbor and Pepper. The Deputy DPO looked confused and kept barking out instructions at the officers around, asking them to maintain peace. A few of the exasperated officers were at their wits end.

Never had Okumagba Police Station witnessed this much activity and sincerely, the police officers didn’t know how to deal.

Chinelo’s announcement spurred a series of unprecedented reactions. Papa Aborbor pounced on Mama Aborbor and began to pummel her; not minding that their son was strapped to her back.

Papa Aborbor: Ashawo! So na wetin you dey do for my back when I comot abi? I go kee you today… useless tin! When i finish wit you, na village strait!
Sister Caro, Akpojor, Solo and Bomboy rushed towards them. Sister Caro managed to remove the screaming child from Mama Aborbor’s back while Akporjor and Bomboy tried to restrain Papa Aborbor from landing more blows on his howling wife. Pepper was out of his room in a flash; his ubiquitous boxers straining over his obviously, well-endowed ‘package’. Noticing that Papa Aborbor was aiming strategic blows at his lust-pie, Pepper pounced on the man… landing a deft blow just under the older man’s armpit. The blow made Papa Aborbor groan out in pain and Mama Aborbor used that opportunity to flee from her raging husband, weeping out loud. The chaos was massive. The noise had attracted neighbors from other compound and they poured into Number 231 Kayros Street with curiosity and ill-disguised gossip-gathering intentions. The growing audience spurred Chinelo and her voice rang out clearly.

Chinelo: Ashawo woman… dem go dey husband house.. upon dat, dem husband preek no do dem. Dem go still dey waka up and down dey find preek to fuck. Two kobo toto… Ashawoooooo!

The female audience swayed towards Chinelo; their tattling antennas raised to the maximum… their eyes glistening feverishly for juicy details of ‘who is fucking who’.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the compound, Papa Aborbor had recovered slightly from the armpit blow. He had dashed into his room angrily and emerged wielding a machete. The crowd that had gathered around him and Pepper, dispersed urgently, leaving Pepper on his own to face Man and Machete. A random person from the crowd, seeing the machete and envisaging a bloody end to this fracas, announced his intention to call the police and vamoosed from the scene. Pepper wasn’t fazed by the machete. His eyes narrowed dangerously as Papa Aborbor advanced towards him menacingly.

Pepper: You wan fight me, you go carry cutlass? Okobo! Troway cutlass come fight me na… Abi na woman body you dey get power?

The cutlass swiped the air just close enough to Pepper’s face making him bend over backwards to avoid a deadly impact. Akporjor, Bomboy, Solo and a few of their peers cheered from the side, clapping merrily at Pepper’s Matrix-style dodging and ignored the enormity of the situation at hand. It dawned on Pepper that Papa Aborbor aimed to kill and his defensive instincts tripled. He fell to the ground and kicked Papa Aborbor on the leg, making the kick vicious enough to topple the older man down. In lightening speed, Pepper got up, wrestled the machete from him and proceeded to pound the older man’s face like a millet sack. Several kicks to Papa Aborbor’s ribs made the man yelp; and to show him how angry he was at the machete swipe, Pepper aimed a final blow at the bridge of the older man’s nose. Papa Aborbor’s nose bleed instantly and his eyes watered. Papa Akpojor and several other men arrived the scene just in time to pull Pepper up and away from Papa Aborbor before he did more damage.

Papa Akpojor: Wetin happun na Pepper? You wan kill am?

Pepper: Make nobody tell me anytin o… Una no see when him nearly use cutlass cut my head? So, I suppose stand make him kee me?

Random Man: Wetin cause all this wahala?

Chinelo: Nor be dis ashawo woman wey dem dey call Mama Aborbor?

Pepper: Chinelo, if my hand touch you, na mortuary you go end. I nor dey fear to beat girl o.

Chinelo: Dem no born you well! Try am weda you no go die for prison!

Random Woman: Chinelo, you no go shuttup?

Solo: Leave am… Broda Pepper go beat you till you enter ‘Cor-mar’…

Pepper: See this useless girl… come out come dey lie for this poor woman head because I no gree fuck am.

The tattling crowd swayed towards Pepper with renewed interest.

Akpojor: Ghen-Ghen-Gheeeeeen… tory don change.

Pepper: I just return from trip… naim I say make I clean my house, baff and chop before I sleep. Na so this dead-body carry hersef enter my room, come dey form heping me. She disturb me sotay, I get to send am go buy food for Maale place so that she go free me.

Bombom: No wonder! I jam Chinelo for Maale place. She buy rice and salad.. when I axe am who get food, she begin cuss me.

Pepper: Oho! Na me she come buy food for o. When she buy food finish, make Chinelo go, she no gree. She say she wan hep me fetch water. I say no wahala… Na so she fetch the water till I chop finish, then she come still hep me wash plate.

Akpojor: Heeeey… Chinelo wey no dey gree wash plate for their house… because of preek you hep Broda Pepper wash plate! See your life…?

Pepper: She wash plate finish na, she still no gree go. The next tin be say, she come dey axe me make I fuck am

Crowd: EHHHHH…..

Pepper: Before I know wetin dey happun, Chinelo don comot my preek from my boxers begin suck am…


Bombom: (Chuckles) Sucking tin!!!

Akpojor: Hey! Ogbere-1 of Kayros!!!!!

Pepper: As I wan halla am say wetin dey worry am, Chinelo pull pant….


Pepper: Come see as my room come dey boom? Dead body smell better pass dis useless geh toto.

Chinelo: God go punish you!

Pepper: Make una enter my room… e still dey smell, even after I flit am wit perf.

Akpojor, Solo, Bomboy and a few girls scurry into pepper’s room to verify. Chinelo throws Pepper a murderous glance.

Pepper: The smell wan kill me naim I vex drive am comot from my room. Upon that, she no gree go. Na so she dey beg me make I fuck her. I come vex push am comot from my room… finish o. Naim she come outside begin shout, dey abuse her papa… come lie ontop Mama Aborbor head.

Chinelo: Heeeey, Pepper… You wan lie say no fuck mama Aborbor las week?

Pepper: Las week, I dey town? Una wey dey dis compound abeg make una hep me judge am… las week I dey town?

Sister Caro: You no dey. I remember… you nor dey.

Pepper: God go bless you Sister Caro! So If I no dey las week, where I come use fuck mama Aborbor?

Chinelo: Peeeepper!!! Pepper fear God! Fear God ooooo. You wey fuck Mama Aborbor on Friday…. una tink say nobody dey compound?

Pepper: On Friday nor be him me and Sister Caro quarrel because of her Jerrycan matter? Sister Caro, your room naim near my room pass.  You hear me fuck anybody?

Sister Caro: Abeg, abeg, abeeeg! No dey axe me that kain mumu queshon. I dey do fasting!

Akporjor, Bomboy and co. emerge from Pepper’s room with frown.

Akporjor: Broda Pepper, I open your room door down o… make the smeh manage comot.

Bomboy: Chinelo, go do test abeg! Tueeeeeh!!!!!

Solo: Dat kain smeh, na only disease dey cause am.

Crowd: Haaaaa… CHINELO!!!! You can lie????

Papa Akpojor: You come allow Papa Aborbor dey beat him wife for notin sake. Why are you like this Chinelo? Na only winch dey behave dis kain behavior o…

Chinelo: I swear to God…. Pepper Fuck Mama Aborbor… Oya Mama Aborbor swear wit your pikin head… Swear say you nor fuck Pepper…

At the mention of her name, Mama Aborbor lost it. She rushed towards Chinelo and pushed her down viciously; sat on her and began to pummel her. Other women make no attempt to stop her. Instead they watch and egg her on.

Random Woman 1: Naim good… beat am! The girl own don too much for this Kayros street.

Random Woman 2: …She and those her useless sisters…

Random Woman 3: …Na only her and her sisters? Their mama nkor?

Sister Caro: That their family get contrary spirit! Na only dem get bad mouth and na only dem still get body odor…

Bomboy: …. And Toto odor too.

Solo:  Make una nor dey forget the toto odor too. Make una dey count am join. Eess very ‘inportant’

Mama Aborbor: Yeeeeeh… Chinelo bite me?

She punched Chinelo in retaliation. Papa Akporjor and a few men manage to drag Mama Aborbor away from a badly beaten Chinelo. Soon, Mama Chinelo and her other daughters arrive the scene and noticed a restrained Chinelo wailing bitterly. Chinelo’s immediate younger sister, Nkiru, grabbed a bottle from nowhere and breaks it on the wall.

Nkiru: Chi who do you dis kain tin. I go ring bottle for person head. I stab-stab person anyhow today. Aaah!!!!!  One person must visit baba God dis evening!!!

Nkiru wields the broken bottle around crazily.

Chinelo: (Wails) Na Mama Aborbor….  (Wails some more) …She gather me beat and nobody even put mouth… (Wails louder) ..God go punish am… ashawoooo

Nkiru trudged towards Mama Aborbor menacingly, using the bottle to scare off anyone that wanted to restrain her. Mama Aborbor backed away from her slowly and broke into a run with Nkiru chasing after her. Luckily, the Police arrived in their van and whisked Pepper, Mama Aborbor, Papa Aborbor, Chinelo and other key participants of the ruckus to the station.

The DPO finally arrived the station. The fierce looking man glared at the crowd outside the station and a sudden silence ensued. The silence alerted the police officers inside the station of the DPO’s arrival. The crowd parted to allow the DPO into the building. As soon as he stepped in, Pepper was the first person he saw.

DPO: Pepper… you don fight again abi?

Pepper: (Grumpily) Welcome sah…

DPO: Hmmm…. Why is there a crowd outside? And who are all these people?

The Deputy DPO hurriedly emerged from the inner office on hearing  ‘His Oga At The Top’s voice. He wasted no time briefing the DPO on the matter, explaining in detail what everyone present had narrated.

DPO: Have they written their statement?

Deputy DPO: Yessah…

The DPO looks around at everyone from 231 Kayros street with a disapproving frown. At that instant, Papa Aborbor enters the station with a huge bandage on the bridge of his nose. He sees the DPO and greets him mournfully, in a weak attempt at playing the victim.

DPO: You  this man… what happened to you?

Papa Aborbor: Oga DPO, is dat animal called Pepper that wanted to kill me o. If not for some neighbors, I would have been a dead man.

Mama Aborbor lets out a very long, irritated hiss and was rewarded with a glare from the DPO.

DPO: Let me settle down first and read everybody’s statement before I can decide this issue.

The DPO walked away briskly, followed closely by his deputy and several other officers. An uneasy calm settled over the individuals of 231 Kayros street as they waited for the DPO’s findings. An hour passed and the crowd got increasingly agitated and impatient. Pepper, did not seem remotely bothered. He occasionally let his eye roam towards the corner where Mama Aborbor was held. she had been released and looked calm but her eyes were red and her cheek seemed slightly swollen. Pepper turned to glare at Papa Aborbor and found the man staring speculatively at him. Both men attempted a ‘stare-off’… naturally, Papa Aborbor failed at it. Several more minutes passed by before the DPO emerged from his office. Everyone sat up… as if expecting a verdict to be passed.

DPO: Errm… I have read the statements that you all wrote,  pertaining to the incident. Now, because this is originally a domestic affair, we will treat it with a bit of leniency but you all will be fined for public disturbance. Before then let me just say a few things to everyone involved.  1) Chinelo… you are the chief instigator of this problem. Because Pepper refused to sleep with you… you decided to heap lies on an innocent woman whom you suspect Pepper is sleeping me. That is false accusation, because you have no proof and no witness. And your accusation led to the domestic violence of a man against his wife. Not only that, your sister attempted to stab a woman with broken bottle, without remorse. So therefore, you will pay a fine of N30,000.

A loud gasp escaped Chinelo and her parents.

Chinelo: (Sobs) …God know say I nor dey lie!

Mama Chinelo: DPO, see as dem beat my pikin. See as ‘him’ eye swell up… see ‘him’ mouth.

DPO: (Sternly) Madam, if you and your daughter talk one more time, I will throw you both in cell and you wont come out till tomorrow.  2) Papa Aborbor… you are not a visitor here. I am surprised to see that you married a very beautiful woman yet you have been brought here severally when my men raid those Red-Light Areas.

Someone from outside screamed “TIGHT TIRO HOTEL” and the crowd outside burst into laughter. Mama Aborbor scowled deeply and shot poisonous looks at her husband. He averted his gaze, so as not to look at her.

DPO: Because you were foolish enough to listen to stupid rumors about your wife and acted like a barbarian by beating her up, you will pay for Chinelo’s Chemist treatment. And, for attempting to maim or kill Pepper with cutlass, for no concrete reason, you will pay fine of N10,000. Papa Aborbor wanted to protest but the DPO’s gaze stopped him.

DPO: 3) Mama Aborbor, you look like a quiet woman… You can go. But next time you are brought here for two fighting… you will not have it easy. Do you understand me.

Mama Aborbor: Yeh-sah

DPO: You can go….

Mama Aborbor: Tank sah.

She turns to leave but Papa Aborbor calls out and rushes to her side…

Papa Aborbor: Grace, you no go wait for me?

Mama Aborbor: Nor touch me o… nor just touch me. As a reach haus so, I dey pack ma load. Tomorrow morrin, motorpark naim get me.

Papa Aborbor: Ehn? Grace why you dey behave like dis na…? Oya wait… make we finish for here make me and you go discuss am.

Mama Aborbor: Discuss wetin? Abeg limme! Go discuss wit the ashawo dem wey you dey carry up and down for Tight Tiro hotel.

She let out a long hiss and stalked out of the station.

DPO: 4) Pepper… I would have told you should go too, because what you did was in self defense… but I warned you the last time you were here that if I see your face in this station over fighting matter, you will spend the night in cell.

Pepper: But Oga DPO, dis one is not my fault nah. Na devil send dat winch  to come provoke me. I juss come back from trip today-today.

DPO: It’s not my business. You have been here too many times over issues relating to fights. I won’t let you off easy. You will sleep in cell and still bail yourself tomorrow.

Pepper said nothing after that. He frowned and gave the DPO a nonchalant shrug. The DPO, feeling like a judge who had delivered fair verdict, stomped back to his office with an air of importance. Chinelo and her parents, along with Papa Aborbor approached the police officers behind the counter, asking them to help plead with the DPO to reduce the fines awarded them. Pepper smiled at the desperate air around his idiot neighbors and turned to wink at a female police officer who smiled back at him. She walked up to him, standing close enough to mutter silently.

Female Officer: (Conspiratorially) You be bad boy Pepper. Na so you take forget me abi?

Pepper: (Mischievously) Forget you ke? Sebi you hear wetin DPO talk? Na me and you go dey all night…

Female Officer: Abeg go! 419 like you.

Pepper: Nor be like dat na. I travel since. I jus come back from trip today wey that useless geh carry her winch come. Ass anybody.

Female Officer: Ok. (Conspiratorially) …Wetin go happun be say… when DPO clear, I go carry you enter that back office make you sleep there.

Pepper: (Chuckles) Augustina baby… I truss you. You be my persin…

Female Officer: But you nor dey do me well o…

Pepper looks around to be sure no one is too close by. The crowd outside had dispersed and the others inside were busy begging for reduced fine. He turned to the Female Officer with a smile.

Pepper: See ehn… since I travel, I never fuck and my blokos dey heavy me. When DPO go, juss ready o… because na vex I go take fuck you.

Female Officer: True?

Pepper: Yesso. I don miss you die… na you I been dey save the preek for. I swear to god!

Female Officer: (Disbelievingly) Hmmm… Pepper! Washy…

The Female Police officer laughed but her eyes darkened with need as she pulled away from him. She added a little swing to her hips as she moved past him into the inner office. Pepper smiled and stared at her butt covertly. Then he shook his head and turned to stare at Papa Aborbor who was following an officer around begging. He barely tolerated the older man before but after the incident of today, Pepper hated him. The man had almost cut him with a machete. That thought still angered Pepper a great deal and he was determined to enact his revenge as often as possible till he got tired.

His revenge was simple and predictable. He was going to keep fucking Mama Aborbor, any chance he got but this time, he would make sure they were careful.  He smiled smugly and leaned back to rest on the wall, silently wishing the hours would rush on by so the DPO would leave.


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