I wanted to post this series yesterday but I had a meeting which lasted four hours… coupled with mummy-duties. I was fagged-the-fuck out and couldn’t even approve comments on posts. Anyhoos, like I promised, this post is an intro to the blog series I talked about. I won’t say more… I’d rather y’all read it and let me know what you think.
(For those that don’t understand pidgin-English, get a Nigerian friend to translate)
A compound meeting had been called. It was the last Saturday of the month and as usual, everyone was home to observe the Environmental Sanitation Day. The landlord’s car arrived and Pepper peeked from his room window as the tenants outside scurried to greet him like a god. Pepper could never understand why the other tenants sucked up to the landlord in that manner. Well, there were alot of things he could never understand about his neighbors. He’d only lived in the compound for 3 months and hadn’t made fast friends with anyone. He shook his head and closed his curtains. He spied a figure and opened the curtains again. It was Mama Aborbor. Pepper smiled and watched her as she tossed the dirty dish water into a nearby gutter and made her way back into the compound. Mama Aborbor was pretty, in an innocent kind of way and Pepper liked her… very, very much.
Mama Aborbor sold provisions in a small kiosk in front of the compound. She was light-skinned, average height with a banging body, despite having three children in quick succession. Her last child only just turned one and she still breastfed him. Papa Aborbor was at least 30years older than his wife. Pepper despised him intensely. He was loud, uncouth and a raging alcoholic. Mama Aborbor was his third attempt at marriage. His first wife had been promiscuous… she slept with anything that had the semblance of a penis. When Papa Aborbor had found out, she blamed him for her promiscuity and called him “2minutes indomie noodles.” Their divorce was signed by those words. His second wife had upped and run away… no explanation. After that, he had given up on marriage and instead quenched his ‘agro’ by visiting “Tight-Tiro” Hotel regularly. His family, bothered about his age and lack of children, took matters into their own hands and married the innocent Mama Aborbor for him. Because he was far older than she was, she feared him and did everything he wanted as meekly as she could. Besides, he always threatened to send her back to the village and she didn’t want to go.
Solo: Pepper! Pepper!! Meeting wan start o and lanlord don siddon.
Pepper sighed. He might as well attend and get it over with. Stepping out of his room, he was greeted by several vicious male eyes. He was used to it and wasn’t bothered. Women were not allowed in the compound meetings so they hung by the door of their rooms or by the entrance of the huge general kitchen and eavesdropped. Pepper spied Sister Caro; the lonely, frustrated, 42year old spinster… Mama Chinelo, the quarrelsome market-woman with the 3 horny teenage daughters… Mama Aborbor… Maale, the oldest woman in the compound… Nurse and several others. He threw a smile at Sister Caro; she eyed him and muttered “Ekwensu” before turning away. Pepper stifled his laughter. He turned to the Landlord, greeted him and ignored the other men as he pulled a nearby bench and sat on it. A muffled prayer was offered up by Paale, the oldest man in the compound and then the meeting began.
Landlord: Erm… I want to welcome everybody to this meeting. I am pleased that everyone is present here because the issue we are going to address affects everybody. I have had several calls from some of you and most times, the complaints are about my newest tenant… Mr. Pepper. Now, I am here… Mr.. Pepper is here…. I want you all to air your grievances in the open so I can address him directly about them.
Pepper smiled and allowed his eyes to fall on the one person he knew would have complained the most… Papa Aborbor. True to his suspicions… Papa Aborbor was the first to speak up.
Papa Aborbor: Oga lanlord… we tank you say you come. Errrm…. the mata nor be long one. We, as men of the compound, don agree say e get some kain tins wey no suppose to dey happun. Here na family compound. Apart from Pepper and Sister Caro…
Sister Caro: (Interrupts) Abeg, abeg, abeg… make nobody jus call my name for there o! I don talk my own finish.
The men turn to glare at her briefly before returning to the matter on hand. Pepper smiled knowingly.
Papa Aborbor: As I dey talk, this compound na family compound. We get women and children full here. For that reason, we espet say some kain tins no suppose dey happun. For exanpu… Pepper no dey ever wear cloth for this compound. Na only boxer him dey wear. As e dress so, na so e dey always dress. Except for when him wan go work. Oga Lanlord, see as him siddon…. nor be him blokos we dey look so?
Papa Akpojor: Pepper prick na show-glass! Everybody don see am. How man wey don suppose get wife and pikin go dey wear boxer wey short and tight like this? The other day, na so him and him friends dey drink… Pepper full preek come outside!
The other men agree loudly.
Papa Aborbor: Na so Pepper dey show him preek up and down for compound… wey our wife dem dey. Oga Lanlord, we don tire. We no fit dey live with person wey no dey cover body. small children full here.
Landlord: Ok. Mr. Pepper is always exposing himself… that is one point.
Papa Chinelo: Oga Lanlord, nor be only dat wan o… Pepper nor dey let us sleep for night. Every night, e must fuck! And nor be say dem dey quiet o. Na so-so shout the gehs dem wey him dey bring dey shout. If Pepper dey fuck here, I sure say people for number 119 dey hear am. EVERY NIGHT O….
Pepper smirks but says nothing.
Landlord: Point two, Mr. Pepper disturbs with his love-making. Any more?
Papa Aborbor: And I no like the kain eye wey him dey look my wife. I don tell my wife make him no dey sell anytin to am again. And hep me beg am make him nor dey greet my wife for dis compound. I no wan hear story.
Papa Chinelo: Inshort, make him nor dey greet any of our wives and even children sef. I don tell my daughters say make dem stay far from am because the way pepper dey do, e fit rape dem.
Pepper had had enough. He got up angrily, ignoring the Landlord’s pointed look.
Pepper: Rape who? Those your daughters wey don use their toto measure gono full street… naim you say I wan rape? Abi na dem go rape me sef… and your wife? Manner she no get and she still get body-odor join. Abeg Papa Chinelo, no insult me. I get taste for woman.
Papa Chinelo spluttered in anger at the unexpected attack on his family. He made a feeble attempt to get up and lunge for Pepper but was held back by the other men. A quick glance at the womenfolk reveal instant chatters and delighted chuckles. But Pepper wasn’t done.
Pepper: And as for you Papa Aborbor, you say I dey open preek up and down? Na my fault say I get big preek? You wey dey tie wrapper up and down the compound, you no dey use am disturb other people wives abi? How many times your wrapper don ‘mistake’ fall, open your blokos? All the women for this compound don see your preek finish. I no want count the other women for other streets and even for Tight-Tiro Hotel. Una say my preek na showglass abi?
Papa Aborbor own be like mess…. no five kobo value!
The ruckus began then. Papa Aborbor attempted to save his dignity by grabbing Pepper and shoving him. Pepper could not be bullied easily. He was a truck driver, tall, lanky, ruggedly good-looking and STRONG. He shoved Papa Aborbor so hard the older man fell down…. lo and behold, his wrapper rode up during his fall and exposed his hairy ass and saggy balls. Some of the men scrambled to cover Papa Aborbor up while the women promptly fled the scene. Pepper was furious and ready to beat up anyone who dared lay a finger on him. The men noticed this and promptly stayed far from him.
Pepper: For this compound, na me dey fess pay water rate, my share of Nepa bill and lastma money. I don borrow at least 4 of una money for dis compound. Yet una go dey gang up against me… dey go report me to lanlord. I owe lanlord money? I owe una money? If I open preek and blokos nkor? Na una get am? If I fuck loud nkor? If e pain una, make una fuck una own. Rubbish! Nor be as una pay rent I pay? I can do any fucking tin wey I want.
Pepper stormed into his room after that rant and a few minutes later he was dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt and was out of the compound. By the time he returned home late that night, none of the men dared say a word to him. Pepper was still miffed. Of all the men in the compound, he wanted to deal with Papa Aborbor. He wanted to teach the man a lesson. and he knew exactly HOW he was going to do it.
For a few days, everyone avoided him and he also ignored them. Then, one Tuesday, he returned home from Ladipo, where he had gone to shop for spare-parts for his truck. The compound was quiet. All the men had gone out to get their daily hustle on… Sister Caro had gone to the mountain to pray for the umpteenth time for a miracle husband… Mama Chinelo and her trampy daughters had made their way to the nearby market where she had a shop… Mama Akpojor had gone to Aswani market… Maale was at her kiosk in front of the rubber factory selling rice and beans to the hungry workers… Mama Aborbor was HOME!
Pepper didn’t realize this at first. He had returned from Ladipo market, dirty and grease stained and decided to take a bath. He had just come out of the bathroom, his small towel tied around his slim waist when he saw her enter the compound. Her ever-crying baby was Mercifully asleep in her arms and she was about to go drop him in their room. Pepper pinned her with a lascivious stare. Confused, she blurted the first thing that came to her head.
Mama Aborbor: Good afternoon broda Pepper.
Pepper ignored her greeting. He gave her one final once-over…. then stalked into his room. Mama Aborbor was stunned. Though her husband had warned her not to ever speak or sell anything to Pepper, she still did… but was careful not to do it openly or in the presence of their neighbors because they would talk. Pepper not answering her greeting worried her alot. So she dropped her sleeping child in their room and went to knock at Pepper’s door, looking around furtively as she did so. Pepper’s voice told her to come in, so she dashed into the room.
Mama Aborbor: Broda Pepper… I do any…
Her words froze. There, in front of her, Pepper had yanked off his small towel from his waist and stood before her, naked. Her eyes widened in shock and instinctively, she covered them with her hands, in childlike innocence.
Mama Aborbor: No vex broda… make I come back.
She turned and blindly reached for the door but Pepper covered the distance between them with speed and blocked her exit.
Pepper: Where you dey run go? You never see preek before???
Mama Aborbor gulped, her hand still covering her eyes. She shook her head in the negative and swallowed hard. Up close, she was very pretty. She had clear, fair skin and her full breast, which were not properly tucked in her bra, looked lopsided and awkward. But to Pepper’s eyes, they were beautiful. He could tell that despite having 3 children, she was still a virgin at heart. His huge dick throbbed to life and he reached down to grab it with one hand and massage it. With his other hand, he forced her palms away from her face and looked into her scared eyes.
Pepper: Abi you see wetin you don cause? You see as my preek don stand now…? And you wan run comot.
Mama Aborbor: Broda Pepper, abeg no ves. I nor know say you never dress…
Pepper: I nor dey vex but my preek dey vex. How we go do am na?
Involuntarily, she looked down and realized that he was fully erect. She watched him stroke it absently and tried to move away from him. But he held her hand back.
Pepper: Since my geh-freind no dey, you go hep me make the tin go down o…
Mama Aborbor: Ha! Broda Pepper, I no fit fuck you o. I don marry. Married woman no dey fuck outside for my place. We dey forbid am.
Pepper: So how I go do mysef?
Mama Aborbor: No vex abeg. Oya call your geh-friend for phone na… I go give you N200 credit free…
Pepper: My geh-friend travel. Hmmmm…. oya, not fuck me…. suck am.
Mama Aborbor: (Appalled) Suck wetin?
Pepper: Suck my preek nah…
Mama Aborbor: Blood of Jesus! Dem no dey suck that tin o. Person fit die!!!
(…………………………TO BE CONTINUED………………………..)